The second half of the D’s in BDSM is Dominance. This is a subject near and dear to my
heart. That’s why it has taken so long
to write this. Being a Dominant is
extremely personal, and everyone is going to view it slightly different. Therefore, keeping that in mind, this is my
personal view of it.
Dominance is about control.
Taking the control of not only your submissive, but yourself as
well. I cannot reasonably expect anyone
to give me control of them if I cannot first control myself. Dominance simply means power or influence
over others. This is a very basic
definition that doesn’t take the lifestyle into it.
Control over oneself may seem like an easy thing, but it’s
actually quite difficult at times. There
are many different facets of life that one can exercise control. I need to be financially responsible. Not having control over my spending habits is
a sign I need to work on my self-control.
Emotionally I need to be in control as well. I have to reign in anger, sadness, jealousy,
despair. It would be inappropriate to
have an emotional breakdown in front of my submissive. If I’m not emotionally stable, how can I
expect her to rely on me as her rock when she needs one. Mentally I need to be in control as
well. I need to know that I have learned
enough, taken enough precautions, to be able to run a scene for the maximum
benefit of all parties. You cannot
Dominate another until you have control of yourself.
Being Dominant means, to me, that I have been given a sacred
trust. My submissive is giving
themselves into my care, and I need to treat that with the respect it
deserves. I need to understand my
submissive so well that I really know her better than she knows herself. I need to study her. I need to know when a sound she makes is good
pain or bad, or pleasure. I need to be
able to get into her mind and see the things that she’s afraid to show me. I need to be able to read her body language
so that even what she can’t, or won’t say, I will hear. I need to understand
her limits and boundaries. I need to
respect her, nurture her, treasure her for the gift that she has given me. Only in that way am I worthy of the title of
Dominant.
Well Said Donavan, puts things in a new perspective!!
ReplyDeletePaul