Contemplation

Sitting alone on my back patio
I gaze up at the night sky.
Looking out into the boundless depths
Of the universe.

Resting back in my chaise
A Corona stands open beside me.
The bubbles drift up from the lime wedge.
Condensation makes a ring on the table.

I take a drink as I ponder my life
Feeling the cold crisp brew slake my thirst.
I gaze at the stars and consider my choices
And the path my destiny has led me.

There have been good times and bad
Scattered at random along the way.
Love and hate, joy and sadness
Loss, gain, happiness, pain.

Some give their faith to God.
Others rely on the blindness of fate.
I believe in making my own destiny.
Charting my own path thru life.

When the winds of change and chance blow
Knocking me off my course
Then God is my co pilot
And helps me maintain control of my fortune.

What of the young charges under my authority?
Do they get any say in the course I plot?
My job is to protect and shelter them
Allow childhood to run its course.

For children they are still
Even though I treat them like little men.
Maturity is not bestowed on them
But something they must learn in good time.

Until then I will guide their step
I will channel them along the path they must go.
When the time comes they will be ready to lead a life
Fulfilling, daring, strong, and pure.

Many times in my life I have been alone
Struggling to make it the best I know how.
Sometimes I have had help.
Some of it was good, others were bad.

My blessing has been my mother.
Steadfast and strong for us
She helps us thru the bad times
Celebrates with us the good times.

Feminine wiles have often been my despair
Leading me away from the true path.
But I am more wary now of the pitfalls
And danger of being led by my lust.

Now I maintain control always.
Though some see me as cold and distant
The fire in my heart still burns just as bright.
But I keep it hidden by necessity.

Too many want what I work so hard to achieve.
Too many want to take away what is mine.
Too many seek to undermine my dominance.
Too many seek to manipulate me from my path.

Someday the inferno of my heart will be seen again
When it’s safe to let it be known.
But caution is my diligence.
Patience is the game that I play.

I change for no one now.
My path is straight and true.
I have to think about what is best
For myself and my children.

Nothing can be allowed to divert me.
My attentions must be set
On achievement and satisfaction
Of the goals that will make life best.

So fear me all you naysayers.
Run and cower from my strength.
Shudder any that get in my way.
For I will not hesitate to devastate.

Back again on my old chaise lounge
Looking up at the starry sky above
Corona warming in the night air
I sit at peace, firm in my resolutions.