Discipline

Last time we talked about the B of BDSM.  Today we are going to discuss the first of the D's: Discipline.

What is discipline? For our purposes we will use the following definition: “the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.”

In the lifestyle, as I've said before, there is a Dominant person and a submissive.  The Dominant usually establishes a code of conduct, rules for behavior, and a system of service.  They then must train the submissive to follow those rules.  When training needs a little extra help, various forms of punishment, of discipline, are used to correct errant behavior. 

Discipline can come in many forms.  But the most important part of any regime of discipline is that it must not cause damage.  This is especially true if one uses emotional discipline.

Physical discipline is the most common so let us start there.  Corporal punishment is often used to correct behavior.  Spanking, flogging, prolonged uncomfortable bondage can all be used.  Often the punishment is engineered to fit the discrepancy.  It could be that the submissive is not allowed to be clothed when greeting their Dominant.  So for punishment the Dominant takes all of their clothing away for a period of time.  The submissive may have forgotten to kneel, or assume any specific position at the correct time, therefore the Dominant will require them to assume that position, or bind them in that position, for a period of time.  And often just a really good spanking is all that is necessary to restore order and correct the discrepancy.

Mental discipline can also be used.  This requires placing the submissive in a mentally uncomfortable situation.  Prolonged nakedness could be an option for a submissive that has issues being comfortable with their own nudity.  Making dinner or doing chores without clothing could also be effective in this scenario.  Placing them in a situation that accentuates their fears could also be productive.  Maybe tying them up and then placing a covering over their eyes would be good if they are uncomfortable in the dark.  Humiliation and degradation tactics can also be used as mental discipline. 

Both physical and mental discipline are going to have an emotion impact on the submissive.  Care needs to be taken that not only are you not violating established limits, but that you don’t cause emotional scarring to your partner.  The idea of discipline is not to do harm, but to affect a correction in behavior. Any and all discipline needs to come with the care and attention that any form of scene requires.  Be prepared.  Use your safe words.  Follow established limits.  And don’t forget the after care.